It’s like one thing goes wrong… then another, then another. Before you know it, you’re stuck in a cycle of doom that is causing you to feel like life is so far out of control that you’ll never recover. You throw your hands in the air and essentially give up. Take a step back, breathe and learn how to take control of your life once and for all.
1) Consider your options
You may feel like life has been taken out of your hands simply because you’re not recognizing that you could make different choices that would allow you to remain in control of your fate. Maybe there are alternatives you’ve not thought about or options you’ve not considered.
For example, I got so focused on paying off my debt that when money became tight, I failed to see the option of slowing down my drive and saving some money so that I had a safety net. I became so intent on the one problem that I couldn’t see the big picture. And, I also couldn’t see that I was causing myself more stress and angst than was necessary.
Of course, there’s also the possibility that you’re not considering your options because they’re difficult decisions.
If you’re unhappy in your marriage, for instance, it can be hard to think about divorce as an option because that will totally change your world. And, if you can’t pay your mortgage, the foreclosure option can be a tough pill to swallow.
However, even though these may be options that you’re not at all happy with, they’re options nonetheless. The more you realize that you do, in fact, have choices in your life, the closer you are to slowing the whirlwind that is happening around you.
2) Don’t be a passive player in life
When you throw up your hands and proclaim that you’ve lost control in your life, it’s similar to releasing the steering wheel of the car when you’re driving. If you felt like you had no say in where the vehicle went before, you’ve certainly made it true by becoming totally hands off.
Life is going to test you over and over again. It’s going to try to take your world and turn it inside out and upside down to see how you respond. So, you need to make a decision as to whether you’re going to just let it happen or if you’re going to take the bull by the horns, so to speak.
The more passive you are with life, the more it will control you. Someone has to be in charge, so if it isn’t you, then it is life.
Don’t give it that kind of power over you. Choose to take an active role in what is happening around you and put life in the backseat as you are driving… with two hands securely on the wheel.
3) Remember that lack of control is an illusion
Although lack of control can seem very, very real it is actually an illusion. It is a belief that is in your mind, but it isn’t the reality.
Think about it for a minute. You have several decision masking opportunities throughout the day that start the moment you open your eyes in the morning.
You decide how many cups of coffee you’re going to drink, what you’re going to eat for breakfast (or not) and what you’re going to wear to work. You’re constantly making decisions like this all day long which means that you control the outcome of each one.
Now, one could argue that not everything that happens is within our control. For instance, if someone rear ends you or you’re given a poor health diagnosis, then those are things that just happen to you that you didn’t provoke, right? Well, that is true- but you can still choose how you respond to them.
You can lie there and let life continue to kick you around or you can use your power of control and make decisions that help you as much as possible. You can choose to be a victim or a victor in life and certainly, I hope you choose the later.
4) Become informed
If there are things going on in your life that you don’t feel like you can change because you don’t really understand them, then seek to find the knowledge to help you understand. Ignorance is no defense when it comes to not having the life you want.
Take the areas that you are struggling with and educate yourself. If you’re not sure why you’re not losing weight, then learn as much as you can about the mechanics of weight loss.
Become a sponge and soak up all of the information you can about the subject so that you not only gain control in that area, but you do so from a position of knowledge and strength.
With the internet at your fingertips, you have access to all of the information you could ever want and need. Use that opportunity to help you move forward in life instead of feeling like you’re sliding backward.
5) Decide up front that you WILL overcome
One of the most difficult things to do when you’re faced with a life that is chaotic and out of control is to have the faith and courage to overcome everything that is going on and decide that you will prevail. Sure, you may face adversity and challenge, but in the end you need to make the choice to be the one that comes out on top.
Find someone that motivates you and ask them to help you continue your drive to succeed with whatever you’re struggling with. Maybe it is a member of the clergy if you’re religious, or perhaps it is a family member or friend that promotes you and lifts you up.
Strive to keep your faith that things will work out and you will achieve new levels in your life. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck where you are; instead, look forward to where you are headed.
When you do these things, you will notice a mind shift that instantly lightens the weight that you bear on your shoulders. You will come to realize that life has been in your control all along – you just didn’t know it.
But, now you do so now it’s time to use your power and create the life you want. The life you deserve. The life of a Queen.